Sinful Saturdays: I'm throwing in my towel!!!!!

I'm hanging up my "fixer"& "rescuer" ways. I'm tired.  I had an aha moment at work.  I realized that people do not take responsibility for their own actions and I enable them to be that way.  This situation got me to thinking of all the ways in which I am a fixer, rescuer & enabler. Whether it be at work or home life, I enable people not to be the full potential God intended for them to be (or me for that matter).
 I did some research on the characteristices about this type of personality and here are a few.  The rescue is:

• Perfectionist
• Obsessive/compulsive
• Action oriented
• Family oriented (coworkers are considered family, too)
• Easily bored
• High expectations
• Strong need to be needed
• Can’t say no
• Self-critical
• Need to be in control
• Less willing to socialize (outside their profession)
• Pessimistic
• Less talk about feeling

Unfortunately, this is me.  It is said that people who are in the field of "helping or fixing people" often times need fixing themselves.   Reflecting back, I tried to fix people by doing a number of things like: looking up summer activities for other people's kids (I am childless), researching vacations that I'm not apart of  (can I go?), picking up office supplies for another program in my division (what's wrong with your car!!!), looking up support programs for at- risk youths (where's the school counselor??), calling schools to get clarity on situations that occurred (where's your mother!!!), getting information on utility plans to lower bills (didn't you know your bill was high!!!), offer unsolicited relationship and family advice (my bad). With all jokes aside, the list could go on and on. I am now aware that I put myself in these situations. I take full responsibility for enabling people to step-up and do what they have to do in order to learn for themselves.

I am taking my power back. I am only going to be accountable for me and only me.  I cannot be responsible for other peoples problems. The only person I can change is myself. 

I will be keeping a notebook handy to record how many times a day I try to "rescue" or "fix" someone else's problems.  I have a lot of work to do in being fully conscious of situations where I have the urge to rescue. 

Here are some affirmations that I am working on in order to overcome this need to fix the people, places and things in my life (a.k.a controlling situations):

~ I will only be responsible for me.

~ I can only be accountable for my actions

~ I will give back whatever doesn't belong to me

~ The only pain & fear I need to worry about, is my own

~ If the business isn't my own, then don't mind it

~ Turn the focus back on me.

Before getting involved in situations, I will silently ask myself two questions before responding: (1) Is the issue concerning me? (2) Did the person ask for my advice?  If yes to both, address the issue and/or offer advice. If no, listen and offer support.

There are to many times when I try to fix or rescue and it turns around to bite me. No more!!!!! My energy is depleted. used. drained. lifeless. finished. ca put. done. over.

 Stay tuned when I discuss more of this topic on Therapeutic Tuesdays.

Good night...