Therapeutic Tuesdays: Ineligible

As in one of my prior posts, I stated that I was throwing in my towel. The fixer,the rescuer & the enabler towel. I don't want to do this anymore. Point blank... I'm tired.  I am really trying to be conscious about what I say and do for people. It's hard. I've been conditioned this way for along time and it's time to break this bad habit.  Just like smokers, drinkers and gamblers get their fix or high on those items, well I get my high on "helping" other people with their problems.  Who am I to judge or question the way people live their life? I can only worry about ME. So, I am resigning my unhealthy ways of trying to "fix" other peoples (a.k.a. healthy individuals)  problems. 

 Go ahead,  try to submit this to my insurance company of life  for payment, it will be stamped - BENEFIT DENIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Good night....

NEGATIVE PEOPLE!! [Les Brown]

I got this from another blogger. I never realized how inspirational Les Browns' lectures were. Makes you really want to get your ish together.

Enjoy

My Valentine....

This is such a cute video.  This is a you tuber that I watch and she and her husband made this video on Valentine's Day. Looking at her videos, it appears that she and hubby have a great connection. They look like soul mates.  I think this is what love should look like and be. Open & Transparent.

This video gives me hope that there is someone out there. just. for. me. ( and not the kiddie perm that's on the market lol).

Enjoy

Therapeutic Tuesdays: The best teacher in the world is..... your mirror

 There may be someone in your life right now, that irritates or annoys the heck out of you.  Something with their personality or actions that just doesn't jive with you.  This may be a mirroring effect of your inner self.

Each friendship/relationship plays/ed a role in how you see yourself.  I'm quickly learning that it's some part of one self that is not being addressed.  When these behaviors show up in others, you have to sit back and review what is it about his/her behavior that needs to be addressed.

I can admit, I haven't learned my lesson yet with my teacher-the mirror.  After this last relationship with Mr. Unavailable (and reviewing  my prior history with Mr. Unavailables), I realized that maybe I'm not fully being available to apart of myself.

Our life is one big mirror with different teachers who come in and out to teach us a lesson.  If you didn't learn, it will show up again..and again. Well, that happened to me. The different unavilables kept showing up in my life repeatedly because I didn't learned the lesson.

I am slowly learning what I need to do in order to have a healthy loving relationship.  The qualities that I seek out in a mate should be qualities that I exhibit.

 So if someone is irritating me, I need to sit back and ask what is this situation telling me about myself.  Instead of pointing the finger at the other person, I am going to focus on what's going on with my unresolved inner self.

So the next time you walk by the mirror, is it a reflection you like or is it a reflection that needs some tweaking. The latter is what I need--some tweaking.


Enjoy

Therapeutic Tuesdays:" When you know better, you do better"

"When you know better, you do better"- a quote by Maya Angelou.  While listening to a morning show radio station, they were talking about a topic and they made a reference to this quote.  It got me thinking- wow this is so true.  People (me included) only do what they know. We tend to be stuck in the past on doing things and expecting the same results to happen.  It might have worked back in the day, but if it's not working now, maybe it's time to change the plan.  Like Dr. Phil says, "how's that working for you".  How about- it's not.

 If your parents were not encouraged as a child, they may not be able to encourage their own children.  If your parents taught not to show love or express their feelings openly, then they might not be able to show love or express their feelings openly to their child as well.  It's called history. Having a history predicts the future. If there's no history of it, there will not be a future of it as well.  It hadn't happened-yet.

So, whose fault is it. It's technically no ones fault per say.  Parents only parent the only way they know how.  If they lack the skills, it's because of how they were taught. I think that it's up to the individual to want to be open enough to do better than what they were taught. So many adults are now trying to pick up the pieces to their lives because they are faced with real life situations when they might have been taught a life if fantasy all along.

 Today is a different day (and time) than in the 40's, 50's & 60's (and so on). Be open to realizing this and move on with the time. Stop being stuck in the way things use to be.

Be informed so that when you know better, you do better. Otherwise, things remain the same.

Enjoy

Therapeutic Tuesdays: Missed Opportunities

There has been plenty times in my life where I 've missed an opportunity to do something- anything for that matter.  I'll admit that I am the type of person who will either (1) pass on something thinking that something else better will come along or (2) won't go because there's no one to go with. I know, I know, both are not good because I missed out on opportunities that could have enriched my life- somehow. 

In order to change the way you do things, you have to change the way you think.  I would honestly believe that I was missing out on something by saying no to an opportunity to do something else.HELLOOO.... I had nothing planned in the first place. Dah!!!!!

I'm learning that in order to first attract  people  or even a mate who eludes positivity, you must first be comfortable within your skin.  Now, I've gone to concerts, clubs, movies and early dinners by myself, but I don't think I was fully enjoying the presence of my own company. I go to mall to get what was needed and leave. I wouldn't savor each bite restaurants that I have visited. Or Iwould rush home like I had someone waiting.  I was truly missing out on life's opportunities.

I remember asking this guy who always seemed to be out and about.."what is it that your doing that keeps you out"?  He responded by saying he didn't rush when he had things to do. He said he may go to that mall and walk around , go to Home Depot to look at tools, come home watch TV for bit then would get up and go back out and wash his car or just take in a movie.  Now, when I look at his list of things to keep him busy, it looks  like errands to me- I told him.  He said yeah they were, but his thing was, he doesn't rush to do them all at once. He said that there are different types of people that's out throughout the day and he gets to see who they are by going out at different times.  AaAhhhh HHaaaaa.

 See my thing was to get up early on Saturday and get all my errands done so that I can be home relaxing the rest of the day.  The problem with that is, I'm home and done with all my errands by mid-afternoon. Now, who am I really seeing when I'm home at 2 in the afternoon. NO-ONE. Shoot... some people are just rolling out of bed at that time. lol

So, as I write this, I have to jump on any opportunity that comes my way because there's some sort of experience to learn from it. I'm committing to saying "yes" to opportunities to experience life. Who knows, I might find new opportunities including (clearing throat) a date. SMILE

Therapeutic Tuesdays: Shut your mouth

Let me give you a little insight about how I operate. I am the type of person who can read a magazine /newspaper/brochure/pamphlet and if they mention something of interest (blog, website, phone number to call whatever), I will jot down the information and look it up. So I say this to say, as I get older, I am realizing that I need to be quiet-more. I say this because I find myself reminding people of things, telling them of something I came across or just information in general that maybe useful.  You may say, "what's so bad about that"? There's technically nothing bad about it, it's just that the information or reminders (let's say) are not reciprocated.  People may not do these things intentionally, but I just feel some sort of way about it. Crazy right. Yeah, I know.  Here's an example... it had already been twenty minutes into a television show, when I called this person to say, hey-such and such is on.  The person responded, "oh yeah, I'm watching it already". I felt some kinda way because was he going to remind me that the show was on if I didn't call him? Probably not since the show was only on for a half an hour and we were already twenty minutes in.

 I wonder if people think I'm coming across as bragging- like- I know more information than them.Or is it me worrying way to much about other people? Or am I taking this way to personal? IDK. So for right now, I think I will just shut my mouth and do me. If someone asks me about something, I will tell. Otherwise, I'll  keep it moving.






Good night....

Therapeutic Tuesdays: Let's talk about it

 My name is Vanessa and  I have an addictive personality. I think. When I get fixated, I go at it full steam especially when it comes to a bargain or food.  For example, Kmart was having a sale on clothing items for $4.00. I went to every Kmart in the area for a week straight to see what they had.  Then, when the sale went down to $2.00, OMG it was a wrap. I was at all of them for the next week. Then I got on a kick of the granola parfait from Panera.  I was at Panera's almost everyday buying one. So you see, it is an controlled addictive personality. Controlled meaning, I'm on a kick, then off of it within a week. But anyway, I'm on this blogging/blog surfing kick. I cannot wait until I get home to get updates on the blogs I like to follow.  I learn so much from these blogger's and their lifestyles.  They have really inspired me to step up my game in life and in fashion.  I'm by no means a" fashionista" by any sense of the word, but looking at these blogs has made me more aware of what fashion can do enhance your look and self esteem.  When you look good, you feel good. Period. So, during my blogging kick, I'm learning to take more effort into the way I look as well as develop more experiences to have a fulfilling life. I continue to be a WIP (work in progress) and through reading my fellow bloggers, will help me continue my journey of trying to become the best person possible.

Let's talk about it
Good night people